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June 3, 2003
I felt prompted to note the wisdom given in the Peanuts comic strip today. The definition of my social life for the past decade can be described by the inability to understand women. I had a girl out for lunch on Saturday and after I told her how girls mess guys up in the head (at least me), she said guys aren't so simple themselves. In my (um, biased) opinion, guys make perfect sense. They use real logic, though perhaps that's my problem -- using logic to interpret the mysteries of love.
Posted by charr at 11:15 AM
Reader Comments
It's like mixing matter and anti-matter. Each are quite normal when observed in their natural environments. Get them together and, KABOOM!
First off, I've had suspicions about Peppermint Patty and Marcy through the years. I don't know that Patty really has aspirations for Chuck. She needs the zip code to the state of denial.Second, boys and girls are both highly illogical to each other. That's just the way it is.Nonetheless, it's probably not a good idea to tell a girl on a date or potential date, whatever it was, that girls mess with guys' heads. Also, don't mention how the last girl you went out with was psycho - even if she really was.
Logic and emotion just don't mix very well. Humans are emotional beings, and trying to force them to be logical is bound to fail. I've resigned myself to not understanding women (or people in general, for that matter) and I just try to enjoy their company.
Renee,
I agree that it's not kosher to bash the opposite sex while you're out with one of them. And, I wasn't on date with the girl, just a reconciliatory-type meeting, trying to get back a friendship that died when I asked her out last fall.
As it was explained to me, guys are 90% logical, gals are 120% emotional. Neither sex has a fair chance to win. If you want to make good with a girl, follow the LCTG: listen, compliment, touch and gifts (flowers). Gals get off on this. Actually, some men do as well.
Mel,
I think that's good advice and I think I try to follow it, but it never seems to work. For one thing, I can't seem to get the girls to talk much. A girl once told me that was a good thing -- that she was scared she'd say the wrong thing. I wish they'd talk. I try to compliment, but I'm not very good at it. I'm always late doing it -- I think about it too much rather than being spontaneous. I'm not a big toucher but will do it once in a while if I feel comfortable with the girl -- I've been told that girls hate it when a guy touches them that they don't like. I'm not big on gifts since I think they are representative of a real relationship.Anyway, I think one of the big problems is that all girls are different so they like/dislike different things.
Cameron,You are a hot guy (according to the pic on your desperation link). Even Levi thinks your hot. You scream sex appeal. Women really get off on this as well. If you treat women like they are important, smart, beautiful, etc. you will have no problem hooking up with the gal of your dreams. Just relax and try to be a total gentleman. If compliments aren't your thing, then try to make her feel special in your own way. If touching makes you nervous, try the elbo touch 3 times (really dumb, but at least it's a touch). If she never returns any touching, back off. One thing to always remember, read her body language. This will help you to see where you can take things. So I guess my point is, if she stands close, keeps eye contact, touches you, and smiles at you, then you're most likely going to get a yes when you ask her out.
Thanks Mel, but I feel like laughing. I'm getting my own private therapy sessions; for free! I think I treat girls fine. The last girl I broke up with said "I did everything perfect" but neither of us were "feeling it." I like to think I'm not as desperate as I sound. I've got a second chance with a girl this weekend, so I'll see how things go.
Didn't mean to make it a therapy session. Sorry about that, I tend to get carried away. Good luck to you with your date this weekend. If you don't kiss her, I'll be very disappointed. ;)Levi still thinks your hot (sorry Levi, he has a right to know).
Levi, I'm scared now, so watch out!
I'm rather scared myself.
Mel, I think you must be confusing me with someone else. For the record, I do not think Cameron is 'hot', nor have I ever expressed that view in any way. I reserve that adjective for stove elements, fires, light bulbs, and women.
Ah ah! So if Cameron's on fire (as in total cutie or just plain flaming) you would say he's HOT.
Hey, don't ever call me flaming.
It has a bad connotation you know.
Renee: No. If he was playing basketball and made a bunch of shots in a row, I might say that he was on fire, but it would be clear from the context that there was no judgement of his appearance implied by the comment.
Cameron, I know. I've had some flaming roommates. I'm just teasin'. :)Levi, so for the record, if you set some girl up with Cameron and she asked what he looked like, you would not say he's hot?
Renee,
Guys cannot say that another guy is hot. That is not allowed. If necessary, one may say another guy is handsome or something mild when, and _only_ when, he is required to judge on behalf of a girl and what she would think.
I'd just pull up his web page on my computer and show the 'Desperation' page to them. Then she could judge for herself! ;)
At that point, she will of course refer to me as hot ;).
I don't know if you want to show a potential date for Cameron a webpage that says "I really need a woman". She might get scared. No wait, we're talking about Utah girls. She'll come to the first date with a list of scenic locales for the engagement photos!
Renee: If that's the case with Utah girls, what does that say about guys who have lived in Utah for several years and remain single? Overparticular?
Dan: I know that is the case with some guys. But maybe some just have a soulmate being prepared and they know they haven't met her yet.
I'd love to know that I have a soulmate being prepared and haven't met her yet, but I'm not so sure. Time will tell. If I'm still single when I hit 50, I'm throwing in the towel.
I wouldn't rely too much on the soulmate idea. I have a soulmate, a famous one. He even knows Doris Day personally. Wow! But our age differences made the match impossible. Given the sensitive nature of the match, I can't give out his name. But I'll let you all guess based on these clues.
R--- H
According to this, it's not just age separating you, but also a little obstacle called mortality.
Dan- you are good.
Cameron, yes he is dead. Hence, we are not together.The point is, soulmates aren't worth the heartache.
Can you post an update on the girl situation? You said you had a date last weekend.
Perhaps I should set up another blog focusing on my love life :).here's some background on this girl. I went out with the girl last February, had a good time, and when I asked her out again, I was given a "I'm busy this weekend." with no rain checks or anything. That translates to "No thanks, I'm not interested" in my book. So I didn't bother with her, but she started to go out of her way to smile and say hi to me. At one point, some of her friends told me to ask her out. When I told them my story with her, they were pretty surprised and didn't know what to say, but after that, the girl made even more of an effort to talk to me and stuff.I think she's a great girl, and she's cute :), and, thinking she really wanted to go out again, I asked her out again. We had a fun night. I doubled with my roommate who took her roommate. But the next day, both girls seemed to act rather cool (as in cold) towards us, though I tried to be friendly and talkative. My roommate (who got the same impression) told me yesterday that he had talked a little with the girl I went out with and they said it was all in our heads. I don't think so. Anyway, I'm not planning on asking her out again unless something changes, and I doubt it will. However, I did get to know another girl on Sunday and we're gonna go out this Saturday.
Bummer about the 1st girl, but at least you are already moving on to the next opportunity! Keep us posted. It's very fun to read about your love life for some reason.
First off, ask the girl out twice before you jump to conclusions. A lot of girls are taught not to give reasons or excuses for turning guys down to seem "mysterious". If you get two no's, without reasons, then forget it.
Second, the girls may not have known how to act when they saw you next. Girls are just as freaked out and worried as guys. Only difference is we discuss it all with our friends and analyze it to death. Try asking her out again, and then make your call. I have lost the interest of guys I really liked before because I was nervous and acted "wierd".
Third, ask girls questions about their personalities instead of more factual, random stuff like where they are from, what they like, ect. Girls love to talk about emotional stuff, so ask them questions about how they feel about stuff, how they handle situations, what they think about, ect. (There are exceptions of course). Act interested in their personality and "inner soul". A lot of girls like that. If it doesn't get them talking, then try something else.There is my two cents.
Carlene, you make some great points. For the past several years, I have used a two-strike rule when asking out girls. A strike is when you get turned down without a raincheck. Two strikes means two consecutive strikes. However, lately, I've been more inclined to follow a 1-strike rule unless I feel there is reason to do differently, since it was rare to get a yes after the first strike.With this girl, I went out with her first in February, and then again last weekend, so it's not really a first date. However, it might be worthwhile to ask her out again. I think she's leaving town for a few weeks though, and I'm moving, so I don't know if it'll happen.I like your third point though. I'm usually at a loss on what kinds of things to ask girls (besides the usual small talk), and when they don't talk, then I will, and I don't think a lot of girls like that (but they won't just talk either). Anyway, I'm not a very emotional guy, but maybe I can be moreso in the questions I ask. Thanks for the comments.
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It's like mixing matter and anti-matter. Each are quite normal when observed in their natural environments. Get them together and, KABOOM!
Posted by jason at June 3, 2003 11:46 AM