Un Cachito

Getting to know someone before you initiate physical contact is a very good idea. You have to give her a chance to decide if she wants you to hug/kiss her. If you go for physical contact too early in the relationship it could be detrimental, a huge turn off. (I'm sure you've realized this.) As a woman, I would suggest that you read the signs before you make any moves. She will usually give you the "go ahead" when she feels comfortable enough to start something physical. Now, I also think that if you asked 10 women this question you'd end up with 10 different answers. But I think a good rule of thumb is to wait at least two dates before trying to make a move, any move. But that also depends on how well you two knew each other before dating. Show her some respect and show off your sparkling wit. Give her a reason to want to hug/kiss you. And I don't mean using lip gloss or going for a walk outside in the cold.

S.W.,
Hi (Is this Shauna?). Thanks for the comments. Fortunately, I think I agree with everything you said, including, alas, the "10 different answers" piece. I have a pretty good track record as far as the respect and treatment thing goes. If there's one part I get wrong, it's that I'm perhaps too male (or clueless? are those synonymous?) and miss the "signs." But, I was also curious of the the order people usually do things. For instance, in one of my last relationships, I grabbed her hand first (which she made available), but in a more recent case, I was waiting for the hand but I think she was waiting for something else.

you think way too much about all of this. STOP THINKING!! Do what feels natural to do next. It may be different with each girl you date. It is not a math formula to figure out. Try something with one girl and if that doesn't work, don't get discouraged, just learn from it and move on. Eventually, you will find the rhythm of dating and what is appropriate at what time for what type of girl. Remember, love and relationships are not logical, but emotional. Allow yourself to have those emotions and act on them.

But I want a math formula! It's so much easier that way ;) Shoot, I'd even take a integral-by-parts.

There is some good advise given and I will get on my soapbox for one as well. I have found this to work quite often even if is does seem awkward at first. When I was unsure of the signs being given by my date, or lack of signs (as some girls seem to think they are giving signs when they really aren't) I ask them politely during a good time, if I may hold their hand. It works supprisingly well. It takes the girl by suprise at first, then they quickly decide they like the question because it asks them to voice an opinion about the relationship. This is good for the man too. More often than not, the girl says yes, and you both are touring cloud nine resort. It also shows tremendous respect for the girl and allows for the often evasive relationship dialogue which is often missing early in a relationship. Of all the girls I have dated and have asked the question, only one said no, but gave it up a week later. I found it works best after the second date. If they are willing to go on a third date, they are either deceitful and are leading you on or there is a pretty good chance they enjoy your company. Give it a try. It really works.