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June 5, 2004

I'm in pain. Have you ever done something so moronic that it hurts just to even think about what you've done? First comes the moment of realization, then a fleeting instant of denial, then the truth comes back to haunt and agonize you. True, it might be funny in the future, or to anybody around you, but to you it stings to think you actually did such a thing.I shall expound upon my misfortune for your pleasure. I use my cell phone as my main address book. In it, I have just about every person I think I might want to talk to. Currently, I have around 117 contacts, not a ton, but a good amount. Since it is not uncommon to know two people with the same name, I have many entries starting with the same first name, but they are usually distinguished by a nickname or a last name. Let's take the name Melissa (names have been changed for my protection). I have 4 entries in my cellphone starting with that name. One is a cousin who we'll call M1. One is a girl from the church that I visit occasionally (M2). The third, M3, is an attractive young lady I met a while back who was nice enough to provide me with her phone number, and the last one is a girl I know from my days in New York who will be M4.I've been on the road for the majority of the time since I met M3, and so I've tried to call her on the rare instances that I've been home. She was busy right before my Maui trip, but told me to call when I returned. I called Melissa and left a message, but didn't hear back. When I returned from Ohio, I decided to give her a final call to see if she was still interested in doing something, since I hadn't heard from her. Melissa called back that same afternoon, explaining she had just now checked her messages and that yes she would like to do something and to just give her a call.I actually didn't expect to hear back from her, so I was a bit surprised, but it was a good surprise. Anyway, I returned the call and secured a date for the following Saturday (tomorrow), though I wasn't sure yet what I was going to do. I had a couple ideas bouncing around in my head, one being a "day" date and the other in the evening. I figured I'd call her on Friday (today) to see if she had a preference, and I started scrolling down the screen of my phone until I got to the Melissas. I was about to hit the dial button, when I mused on the fact that there were 4 of them. I briefly thought of M1, then M2, then M3, then M2 again. In my mind I was thinking I knew who M2 was, it was the attractive young lady I had asked out on a date, but who was M3? And that's when the moment of realization hit me. It couldn't be! It was. My mind raced wildly trying to think of who exactly I had called, and when. All of a sudden it started making sense that the girl I had asked out seemed a bit surprised and confused by some of the things I was talking about. As the realization came to me that I had asked out the wrong girl, I started seeing the mess I had gotten myself into and the pain set in. I would have gone down to pick up M3 on Saturday, and she'd either not be there, or be quite surprised and think I'm a complete lunatic (or stalker). Meanwhile, the other girl would be waiting for me and think I've stood her up. It hurt just to think about it.Since I wasn't 100% sure who I had talked to each time, I decided I needed to talk to both girls and straighten things out. Neither answered their phones, so I left messages partly explaining the situation, and asking them to call me back promptly. While I never had any intention of dating M2, I figured I owed her the date I had asked her out on. At the same time, it pained me to realize that I likely hadn't been calling M3 the last few times and now she'd think I'm a total flake and a moron. Well, M2 did call back and we'll go ahead and do something tomorrow as friends, but I felt bad for her. M3 hasn't called yet, so that might get interesting. Looking back, I think the fact that I was gone so much played a big part. M3's last name dimmed in my mind as time progressed and I think coming back from Maui I just scrolled down the phone, came to M2 first, and with the last name sounding familiar, I called it. I didn't associate M2 with her last name much either, so that last name didn't jump out as something very familiar. After that one call, I think the number was still stored in my call history the next time I called, and I just used it, again and again.Guys, don't ever do this. Learn from me. Don't let friends dial recklessly. Think before you act. And let's hope that's my dumb deed o' the year, not to be repeated.

Posted by charr at 12:22 AM
Reader Comments

I know it's not funny to you, but after the mess is cleared up, I think you'll agree that this is hilarious, as long as you think about it happening to someone else...

Posted by dan at June 5, 2004 2:28 AM

LOL. But you explained to M2 that you didn't actually mean to ask her out, it was a mistake? Ouch. I think I would avoid you forever after that.

Posted by Ellen at June 5, 2004 10:22 AM

Ellen, I felt I had to. I was so deep in the mess, that I felt the only solution was to be honest and clear everything up. I'll be doing something with M2 tonight, and hopefully she won't think I'm a total jerk.

Posted by Cameron at June 5, 2004 12:42 PM

Poor Cameron. It must be hard work juggling women, huh? Seriously, I feel so sorry for you. But it's stinkin' funny, too. I feel sorry about that too, because there's nothing worse than making a mistake and knowing that it's hilarious from other perspectives. Maybe you should go through the numbers on your cell phone and copy the ones you rarely use into an address book or something. That way, you won't get any important names mixed up in the future.

Posted by Jan at June 7, 2004 7:30 AM

Thanks for the condolences. I actually did consider going through the girls and at least giving them all nicknames representative of their identity. I do that automatically when I recall stories verbally, so it'd be rather natural.

Posted by Cameron at June 7, 2004 8:46 AM

It actually makes Cameron's stories quite entertaining. You don't hear about Hilda or Berta, you hear about the so-and-so girl, and the one who did such and such.

Posted by dan at June 8, 2004 10:45 AM

Oh, man, I rarely laugh out loud when reading blogs but I just about spit water at the monitor reading this. I'm positivly howling!Sorry it's at your expense but that is a riot!

Posted by Renee at June 10, 2004 6:45 PM

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Last Updated 11/07/03